GRANDPA'S PICTURE PARTY

COMMERCIAL 16mm SOUND FILM originally owned by Gustave A. Martens
9 minutes, Color,World War 2 era
ARCHERY ANTICS
A series of mundane archery stunts
but with a RIDICULOUS ENDING
you'll never forget!
(Narration begins) "A shady lagoon, a swing, a beautiful girl, and a roving archer. My my, those balloons are pretty, aren't they? Seldom do we run across such an attractive target, but we're in Southern California and anything can happen. If Sugar can hold that pose, we'll see what we can do with those balloons." (Ande shoots both balloons right off her ankles without a scratch.)
"She says her name is Hannah, but we prefer to call her Sugar. Let's start with a penny matchbox on top of a toy balloon. Wonder if we can shoot it without touching the balloon, or Sugar's hands. Sugar doesn't seem to have a nerve in her body, or to mind our shooting in the least. Maybe she likes taking chances with her dainty digits."
"I'm hungry" says Sugar. (Sugar interrupts the stunt for a lunch break, but Ande starts shooting the food out of her hands, so she gives up and returns to the stuntwork). "Sugar seems a little disgusted with the affair, but we've convinced her that business must come before pleasure, so back we go to work." (Ande, of course, nails the matchbox easily).
"Our targets seem to be getting smaller and smaller. This one happens to be a match head. If we actually strike the match head, naturally it will break. The trick is to just miss actually hitting the match, but shooting so close that the arrowshaft will slide along the head and light it by friction." (And Ande does it!)
"Sugar calls time out for lunch and this time she means it. Mmmmmm, mmm! I'll bet they don't feed you this good in the army. What's that? All this food for just two people? Hmph! Well, you just don't know Sugar. These California girls have real appetites. If you're planning a visit out here, don't say we didn't warn you. Well, for a while we thought we might marry the girl, but not now Brother, not now! Sugar doesn't really need exercise to settle that dainty little lunch, but off she goes on a stroll, leaving us sadder but wiser."
AND NOW FOR THE INCREDIBLE CONCLUSION!
You've been forewarned!!
What's that out in the lagoon? Oh Lord, NO!
It's the BATTLESHIP HIROHITO! Japs! The picnic is ruined!!
But no enemy warship is a match for Ande Vail!
He shoots!
He scores!
You're a sap, Mister Jap!
Burn, Baby, Burn!
The Battleship Hirohito sinks to the bottom with, presumably, the loss of all hands on board . . .
. . . which delights Sugar to no end.

"Archery Antics" combined in the same reel with "When the Organ Played Oh Promise Me" was the only sound film in Grandpa's collection. He only played it for the family once, using a borrowed sound projector. My Dad believes Grandpa bought the short to provide entertainment to his church(!!) The primitive soundtrack consists of only Ande's narration, a few sound effects and music from the "William Tell Overture" used over the opening titles and the battleship sequence. The whole short is really unexceptional - hokey narration notwithstanding - except for that ending! What were they smoking when they thought it up?

Does anybody out there know more about Ande Vail and if he made other films? Please let me know.


FILM CLIP: Watch the Battleship sink! (Quicktime required)

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